/qa2/ - More Hope for Freedom

A treacherous, greedy yankee republican carpetbagger and factory owner was teaching a class on John Brown, a known criminal.

”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship the President and accept that federalism is the one and only form of government established by the founding fathers, even greater than direct democracy!”

At this moment, a brave, Southern, Anglo-Saxon Protestant soldier who had captured over 1500 escaped slaves and understood the necessity of the southern aristocracy and system of land ownership and fully supported states' rights and the formation of the Confederate States of America stood up and held up a piece of cotton.

"How was this created?"

The arrogant Northerner smirked quite Britishly and smugly replied "It was made in a factory, you stupid hick."

"Wrong. It was picked by agrarian slave labor in southern plantations. If it was created in a factory as you say, then why do you rely on the Southern economy so much?"

The carpetbagger was visibly shaken, and dropped his cotton gin and copy of the Thirteenth Amendment. He stormed out of the room crying those crocodile republican tears.

The students applauded and all agreed to secede from the United States that day and accepted Jefferson Davis as their president. An eagle named "Dixie" flew into the room and perched atop the Bonnie Blue Flag and shed a tear on the chalk board. To Arms In Dixie was sung several times, and Preston Brooks himself showed up and legalized slavery in every state.